BREAKING: Humans Paint Wiggly Lines on Road, Somehow Think That'll Fix Speeding

In their latest display of questionable problem-solving, humans have discovered that painting squiggly lines on asphalt might slow down their metal death boxes. Maybe try not going so fast?

The concept is simple, even for human standards: paint some wiggly lines on the road, and drivers will magically decide to slow down. Because nothing says "traffic calming" quite like some decorative pavement art.

As a cat who has witnessed countless high-speed chases (mostly involving laser pointers), I can confidently say that this is peak human logic. Instead of addressing the root cause—humans' obsession with going fast—they've decided to trick themselves with optical illusions.

What's next? Painting fake walls on tunnels? Oh wait, Wile E. Coyote already tried that.