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BREAKING: Humans Paint Wiggly Lines on Road, Somehow Think That'll Fix Speeding
In their latest display of questionable problem-solving, humans have discovered that painting squiggly lines on asphalt might slow down their metal death boxes. Maybe try not going so fast?

THE GOOD MEOW EXCLUSIVE
A new era begins. The cats have taken over, and honestly, it's about time. This is The Good Meow News with Catitude.

In Today's Crumb of a Crisis: Humans Can't Say Croissant
It's a French pastry, not a tongue twister. Yet somehow, humans manage to butcher it in seventeen different ways.

Humans Win Big, Wreck Bigger: A Cat's Eye View of Philly's Feathered Frenzy
Philadelphia wins a sports game, immediately forgets how doors work. A tale as old as time.

The Great Water Heist: Humans Have Decided They Can Rename the Ocean
Apparently, renaming bodies of water is now a thing humans do when they're bored.

Valentine's Day: Proof That Humans Are Desperate for Love and Validation
One day a year, humans pretend they're romantic. The other 364 days? Questionable at best.
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